Looking So Long At These Pictures Of You

Jul 07, 2026

I’ll warn you in advance that I have no intention of writing here tomorrow (on my birthday). I’m teaching a class tomorrow evening, but that’s pretty much the only work I plan to do tomorrow. And although I love writing, it feels like something that’s okay to take a day off from, and if not my birthday, when?

I’m warning you so that you can resolve to not worry about me because I’m not popping up in your feed. Feel free to say hi and that you’re happy I was born, but don’t worry. Fair enough?

Today was a really, really productive day. I don’t often strive for productivity these days, but I had a long to-do list to work on, and I absolutely crushed it. For some perspective, I’m lucky if I typically get 2-3 important tasks done in a given day. Today, I got TWENTY-TWO important tasks done. So. Big change.

I’d also like to point out that I also read a hundred pages of one of my new books yesterday, which is almost miraculous given my current cognitive state.

I’m reluctant to publicly discuss my secret weapon until I’ve used it for more than two days, but I’m hopeful that I may have started experimenting with something that is going to make a big difference in my ability to not feel as lonely and also to get tasks and reading done when I feel like it. Stay tuned, and I promise if it’s become an actual habit and works better for me than it has been, I’ll let you know.

I’m not feeling very sad at all about my birthday tomorrow, at this point the night before at least. I remember musing about whether the first part of July was hardest because it was always going to be, or whether it was a reverse-placebo effect because of all the talking with everyone about how worried everyone was that July would be so hard. I’m wondering whether having had some good days in July might push that trend back the opposite direction, not because one outweighs the other but because I am legitimately having some very good days.

Today was one of those days, and I’m proud of feeling okay no matter what month it may be. I scanned a few hundred more old photos, and if you’re interested in looking through this batch, you can find them at this link.

I keep coming across old shots that make me feel way more happy than sad, and that’s a special gift. I wouldn’t be working on this project if I felt that it would be full of constant reminders of what I’ve lost, but looking at these pictures has given me such an appreciation of some of those old memories that had left my mind. It’s let me relive some of those days and nights and concerts and vacations in a brand-new way, and I continue to be so grateful to get to re-experience them like this. I’m going to push onward with the photo project, obviously. I’m nearing my first thousand scanned, which is a great milestone because of the huge cost of this photo scanner. The service I was planning to use to have them scanned for me charges a dollar per print, but with the coupon code they email me every day or two it would be fifty cents per print. Since the incredible scanner cost $599 or so, I figure it has more than paid for itself if I can scan more than 1,198 pictures with it. The fact that it’s only taken me three or four days of putting any significant effort into it to hit nearly that many tells me that it was a great financial decision. Because I have a LOT more pictures still to go.

Here, for your viewing pleasure, are some of my favorites from today.