Someone asked me earlier this afternoon how I was doing today, and I answered, “Great, I don’t know how my day could be going any better!”—before I realized that yeah, I sure do know one big way my day could be made happier. I amended my statement to clarify that I don’t know how my day could be going any better aside from the obvious, and we both shared a laugh.
It’s fine to have good days, of course, and this was one of them.
My day started with a massage, and Amber outdid herself (again). It was even more relaxing and felt even better than it did the first time, and I think that’s probably because I wasn’t very nervous today. I’d already met her and gotten a massage from her, so I knew what to expect and knew it wouldn’t be weird, so I could enjoy it from the beginning of the process instead of slowly adjusting to the fact that I was going to have a nice time. I’m so, so glad that I got the referral to Amber, and I am beyond happy to prioritize seeing her every three weeks. If you find something is really helping your life, it’s a safe bet that you should actually make time to do that thing. I’m a real believer that it’s way too easy to forget things, even wonderful things, if you don’t really get something on your schedule and make it happen. My time with Amber is a wonderful thing, and I’m very grateful for her skills and experience and knowledge. Amazing stuff.
I’m willing to bet that a regular massage is something that would help pretty much every widow/er out there—it’s been that life-changing for me. Someone told me yesterday that they love the fact that I can now regularly refill my touch gas tank, and that’s truly what happens.
I ate more tacos at Senor Masa (of course) as well as spending time in a bookstore (and finding some great deals) followed by roaming around Costco (for more great deals). All good things!
I also took a lovely nap.
I have grand plans in place to enjoy my day tomorrow instead of having it be as big a bummer as it has been lately—stay tuned to find out whether it works or not! I’m not in a huge hurry to solve my Wednesday doldrums immediately. Besides the fact that it feels really bad, I know that I hopefully have hundreds or even thousands of Wednesdays left to get through in my life, so I’m trying to pace myself and explore my brain as I can, without putting more pressure on myself to solve this problem immediately. I’m working on it. And maybe I can’t ever “solve” it, maybe it’s just something where Wednesdays slowly evolve into something less difficult for me over time. Who knows? I guess we’ll see!
I’ve been thinking once again about just how grateful I am that I have so many thousands of pictures and videos and other artifacts of Kellie available to me. I came across a totally random video last night of Kellie talking about a dental appointment that went better than she’d expected. I was absolutely riveted, as I always am when I find another video of her that I haven’t already watched a hundred times. I miss her so much that it literally staggers me when I think about being without her. I just miss her.
Love to you all, and thanks for reading.
Matt